Skip to content


When you become a parent, you are ushered into a secret club, giving you a depth of experience and fellowship that I call, ‘The Brotherhood of Motherhood’.

You’re never the same again, and better for it.

You see the beauty in the eyes of your child and wonder…

Could your mom or dad have loved you as much as you love this little one?

You work so hard to keep that baby alive and realize that YOU are only here because someone worked hard to keep you alive. Yes – Your Life itself is proof that you are meant to be here. You are loved.

You’re seeing a bigger picture. 

In moments of deep reflection you may begin to see that each person walking down the street was themselves once a beautiful baby, deserving of the same love you have for your own child. And suddenly you become aware that LOVE is the underlying foundation of all humanity

You have been loving others.

Are you ready to love yourself?

YOU are a unique part of humanity that deserves the same love and care. 


Before I had children, I used to believe that love meant: Being the nice guy, always giving in, never expressing a negative emotion, pain or need of any kind.

I was employing the survival strategy I learned growing up:


I became a ‘Robot Wife’,  doing everything I thought I should. I paid attention to everything. Everything except me. 

I was trying hard to be the person I thought I was supposed to be, instead of who I really was.

 The more I stuffed my feelings to please others, the further I dug myself into a sort of emotional grave. 

“Something’s missing. What could it be? It’s ME!”

I’d been giving myself away all along –

to the point that I didn’t exist.


It took years to re-discover the real me underneath what I used to be. 

I also discovered that it takes more than a “me” and a “you” to make love REALLY WORK.

You need a third ingredient that is absolutely essential.

A truly loving relationship, like a stool, needs at least three basic “legs” to stand on:  

Two authentically real people – plus one unity of purpose. 

A leg out of alignment would make a wobbly stool.

Like, if only one partner’s needs are being met…

Or they don’t want the same things

Or they don’t carry their weight.

 And how much is it? 

It’s not 50%.

Love is giving all your heart.

It does not  demand it, because wishing others well is what it does.

  Steadfastness to the highest good of all, is what it does.

And that is who you are if you care about others.

It’s who you are. 

And that’s what makes the joy in ‘real-ationships’. 

Giving out of the inexhaustible fountain of  the heart.


You’re in this for the long haul..

Nothing but all of you will do.    


Standing equally tall under the weight of a shared unity of purpose gives a mission that is bigger than either of you.


Identify what’s holding you back from truly loving others.  Are you waiting for others to love you first? 

How can they love you if you don’t even exist? If you never tell anyone how you really feel, how can they  know? Are you waiting for them to read your mind?

When I was younger, I was hoping others would psychically divine what I was feeling, since I always tried to do that. And when they didn’t, I thought it meant they didn’t really care. At least that was the story I told myself. But what was true was that I was too afraid that if I did tell people my needs they wouldn’t care anyway, so why should I? 

The ‘stories’ we tell ourselves are rooted in the core wounds of our childhood experiences. Facing the reality of my subconscious world took a lot of work.

 Learning to be authentic is scary. It was for me. But when you eventually stop hiding who you really are it makes you more lovable and is truly more loving. Especially when you’re not secretly being resentful of another’s imagined negligence, when all along they didn’t really know because you haven’t told them. And if they don’t accept you for who you really are, then why are you with them in the first place?

Seeing the big picture can transform your world.


My late husband, Jas Hilsdon would say: LOVE YOURSELF


Ruth Elliott-HILSDON: 

Wife and Supermom of 7,
Founder and Director of Edu Designs,
Emmy Award Winning Animation Artist,
Musician, Author and Coach to
Spirit Led Supermoms.




lady with hat


mom and baby